wow. seriously?

i feel like the worst mother ever. i don't pretend to be organized but i always envisioned myself crafting this beautiful, detailed, rich baby book for AT LEAST my first born and what have i done? squat. SO, i'm trying to get back to it, right here on the world wide web.
our little baby sweet pea is not a baby sweet pea anymore. she's turning into a little girl. a chatty, courageous, smart, funny, loving little girl. that melts our hearts every time she flings her chubby little arms around our neck. it is the sweetest feeling in the world, those chubby little arms of hers. she started to walk at about 14 months and has not slowed down since. when she wants to get where she's going real quick she swings those chubby little arms half way round her body back and forth like a washing machine on agitate. i'm not so sure she goes any faster but those little arms are just a goin.

i'm amazed daily by her lack of shyness and bravery. she will make anyone smile, from the dude at the dry cleaners or the yellow skinned old lady checker at the grocery store. it's amazing. we watched her at the airport the day before thanksgiving march right up to a boy about two years older who was terrified of her, she marched right up, flung his coat open and began investigating the robot on his shirt, it was quite a site. sometimes i apologize to people for how brazen she is, thinking "oh gosh, they must be so annoyed." but you know what. she's going to go far in life, she's going to get what she needs when she needs it and if we can just teach her to be honest and sweet and polite then we're doing just fine.

every day she repeats a new word, i'm pretty sure the other day she repeated the word 'SHIT' obviously i didn't say it far enough under my breath because those curious little ears were tuned in and turned up. so yes, i am learning to watch my mouth. the list of her words is almost too long to write. and she has begun to make sentences. which is so rewarding to us now. finally she hugs and speaks clear enough to let us know what she needs. it makes me feel incredibly blessed each and every day.

we've been hoping and praying that we are able to make our little bitty a big little bitty. the loss of a baby in september has made us, me especially i think, realize how much this whole having a family thing means to us. to be a provider for a little sweet soul to teach and watch over to feed and bathe it gives me the most immense pride that my little girl is growing and smart and beautiful. so we pray to make her a big sister to see how she shares all these wonderful gifts she's been given. and on top of all of that, little miss is OBSESSED with babies, if we point one out to her in a store she reaches out to ask if she can hold the baby, she calls every car seat, every stroller, and every baby she sees, "bebee tamis" (baby thomas, who she is in love with). a friend told me once, "don't worry about having enough love for more than one child, your heart will grow and learn to love in new ways when you see your children love each other." so i am yearning for this. to grow our family, God willing. and if it is not in God's plan for us to have more children i will raise my one beautiful little bitty to be amazing and kind gracious. (at least i'll try as hard as i can) :)

and the thing that is making me the most proud these days??? the photo tells it all. while we haven't given up bedtime bottles which i'm sure our pediatrician will promptly slap my hand for we ARE getting potty trained. it's a triumphant feeling when we are told "i poop-ed" and make it to the potty. so i feel like we're pretty even than. bottle for potty. so we're doing just fine.

so hopefully i will keep up with the posting for a while. i'm not keeping any promises but i'm going to try.